外国学生的脑洞真是可怕，笑得我老年痴呆都痊愈了！

这些比喻，真是好玩，自由开阔成我们说的创意。想象的力量是无穷的。免费关注微信公众号 jiarenorg ，就能天天收到佳人精彩文章了，还有机会和主编小陌一对一私聊喔，咱们微信里见！

笑得我多年老年痴呆都痊愈了呢！笑出声了……

文/风来

在网上看到了一个帖子“外国高中作文比喻句摘录”，感觉外国学生的脑洞真是可怕……

翻译/黄澄

很有趣所以本人试着翻译了一下，其中一些句子不乏黑色幽默，外国孩子的想象力正是天朝人民最为欠缺的。

1、 Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other Sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master. ——Sue Lin Chong, Washington

她的脸是标准的椭圆形，就像一个正圆的两侧被瘦腿机轻轻压扁了一样。
——Sue Lin Chong（华盛顿）

2、His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. ——Chuck Smith, Woodbridge

思绪在他头脑中翻滚，不断合并又分开，像洗衣机里没加防粘剂的内衣。
——Chuck Smith（伍德布里奇）

3、He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a Guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. ——Joseph Romm, Washington

他说的话带有过来人的睿智，恰似一个人因为没用带针孔的盒子看日食，结果眼瞎了，然后此人走遍全国，到各所高校宣传没用带针孔的盒子看日食会带来怎样的后果一样。
——Joseph Romm（华盛顿）

4、She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again. ——Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station

她很吸引人的目光，就像纱窗门上的勾型门闩，平时吊在那里逛荡，一有人推开门，它就立刻飞起来。
——Rich Murphy（费尔法克斯站）

5、The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t. ——Russell Beland, Springfield

小船轻轻漂过湖面，那景象恰恰是一个保龄球做不到的。
——Russell Beland（斯普林菲尔德）

6、McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup. ——Paul Sabourin, Silver Spring

麦克从12层楼摔下来砸在人行道上，就像个盛满菜汤的垃圾袋。
——Paul Sabourin（银泉）

7、From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and “Jeopardy” comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30. ——Roy Ashley, Washington

从阁楼传来一声怪异的嚎叫。整个场面有一种诡异的、超现实的感觉，就像你在别的城市度假，发现《Jeopardy》（电视节目）在7点而不是7点半上映一样。
——Roy Ashley（华盛顿）

8、Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze. ——Chuck Smith,Woodbridge

她的头发在雨中闪烁，就像打喷嚏之后的鼻毛。
——Chuck Smith（伍德布里奇）

9、Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center. ——Russell Beland, Springfield

她的双眼就像两个棕色的圆圈，中心各有一个大黑点。
——Russell Beland（斯普林菲尔德）

10、Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. ——Unknown

她的词汇量很差，差得就像，那什么似的。
——佚名

11、He was as tall as a six——foot——three——inch tree. ——Jack Bross, Chevy Chase

他的身高恰似一棵六英尺三英寸的树。
——Jack Bross（塞维蔡斯）

12、The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease. ——Gary F. Hevel, Silver Spring

冰雹从人行道上溅起来，好像被扔进油锅炸的蛆。
——Gary F. Hevel（银泉）

13、Long separated by cruel fate, the star——crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph. ——Jennifer Hart, Arlington

这对苦命情侣曾被残酷的命运分隔，现在他们从草地两端跑向对方，就像两列货运火车，一辆以每小时55英尺的速度于下午6点36分离开克理夫兰，另一辆以每小时35英尺的速度于下午4点19分离开托皮卡车站。
——Jennifer Hart（阿林顿）

14、The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can. ——Wayne Goode, Madison,AL

政治家走了，但没人注意他，就像Dr Pepper罐头上Dr.尾端的句点一样没有存在感。
——Wayne Goode（阿拉巴马）

15、John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. ——Russell Beland, Springfield

约翰和玛丽从来没见过面。他们就像两只从来也没见过面的蜂鸟一样。
——Russell Beland（斯普林菲尔德）

16、The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.——Barbara Fetherolf, Alexandria

雷声中带着不祥，那声音好像给戏剧中的雷雨场面配音时，几个人在后台摇晃一片薄金属板一样。
——Barbara Fetherolf（亚历山大）

17、The red brick wall was the color of a brick——red Crayola crayon.——Unknown

红砖墙的颜色就像砖红色的蜡笔一般。
——佚名

18、He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River. ——Brian Broadus, Charlottesville

他深爱上了她，仿佛他的心是个犯罪集团的告密人，而她是东河（East River）一般。
——Brian Broadus（夏洛茨维尔）

19、Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut. ——Sandra Hull, Arlington

就算到了晚年，祖父的思维仍然像捕兽夹一样（注：“像捕兽夹一般敏锐的思维”是常用比喻），只不过那个捕兽夹被放在外面太久了，已经锈死了。
——Sandra Hull（阿林顿）

20、The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during the interview portion of “Jeopardy!” ——Jean Sorensen, Herndon

门被强制打开过，就像《Jeopardy》的采访单元的对话一样勉强。
——Jean Sorensen（赫尔顿）

21、Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do. ——Jerry Pannullo, Kensington

子弹打完了，就像打完了的子弹一样。
——Jerry Pannullo（肯辛顿）

22、The plan was simple, like my brother——in——law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work. ——Malcolm Fleschner, Arlington

计划很好懂，就像我的小叔一样好懂。但和小叔不同的是，这计划或许行得通。
——Malcolm Fleschner（阿林顿）

23、The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while. ——Malcolm Fleschner, Arlington

年轻的战士脸上带着渴望的神情，就是那种你几天不吃东西露出的表情。
——Malcolm Fleschner（阿林顿）

24、He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something. ——John Kammer, Herndon

他就像鸭子一样笨。并不是比喻句中的笨鸭子，而是一只脑子有问题的真鸭子——也许因为踩了地雷而脑残了。
——John Kammer（赫尔顿）

25、Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter. ——Barbara Collier, Garrett Park

她的艺术感知力极其敏锐，犹如一个能分辨出黄油和“我不相信它不是黄油”牌人造黄油的人。
——Barbara Collier（加列特公园）

26、She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up. ——Susan Reese, Arlington

她的笑声低沉、嘶哑又真诚，就像一只狗在呕吐之前发出的声音一样。
——Susan Reese（阿林顿）

27、It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before. ——Marian Carlsson, Lexington

它从楼梯上滚下来，样子好像一个任何人都前所未见的东西。
——Marian Carlsson（列克星敦）

28、The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D——Tex.) in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Rep. Henry Hyde (R——Ill.) in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the impeachment of President William Jefferson Clinton. ——J. F. Knowles, Springfield

这把刀的锐利程度简直和议员赫拉·杰克森·李（外号：D——Tex）在弹劾威廉·杰弗逊·克林顿总统的众议院司法委员会听证会上向议员亨利·海德（外号：R——III）提出最初几点论证时的语气一样。
——J. F. Knowles（斯普林菲尔德）

29、The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. ——Jennifer Hart, Arlington

芭蕾舞演员优雅地在身后轻轻抬起一条细长的腿，就像消防栓边的一条狗一般。
——Jennifer Hart（阿林顿）

30、The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge——free ATM. ——Paul J. Kocak, Syracuse

妻子的不忠让他三十年的婚姻土崩瓦解——当他意识到这一点时，他受到了强烈的震撼，仿佛先前不会收附加费的自动提款机突然开始收取附加费一样。
——Paul J. Kocak（锡拉库扎）

31、The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium. ——Unknown

蒲公英在微风中轻摇，仿佛设置成中档风力的摇头风扇。
——佚名

32、He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up. ——Susan Reese, Arlington

他深坠爱河。当她说话时，他仿佛听到了悦耳的铃声，仿佛她是一辆正在倒车的垃圾车。
——Susan Reese（阿林顿）

33、Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser. ——Chuck Smith, Woodbridge

她的眼睛就像一池清泉，只不过清洁工忘了在池中放pH净水剂。
——Chuck Smith（伍德布里奇）

34、She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room——temperature Canadian beef. ——Brian Broadus, Charlottesville

她如此依赖他，仿佛她是大肠杆菌菌群，而他是一块室温下的加拿大牛肉一般。
——Brian Broadus（夏洛茨维尔）

35、She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs. ——Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park

她走进我的办公室，样子好像一条少了98条腿的蜈蚣。
——Jonathan Paul（加列特公园）

36、Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first——generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened. ——Sue Lin Chong, Washington

她的声音急促尖利，仿佛第一代热敏纸传真机的纸带松了时发出的声音。
——Sue Lin Chong（华盛顿）

37、It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall. ——Brian Broadus, Charlottesville

这种痛觉就如同你不小心用订书机把舌头订在墙上后感觉到的疼痛一样。
——Brian Broadus（夏洛茨维尔）（来源）